For March 21st- Chick Magnet

Okay, so imagine Adam Hurtz, the creator of the American Pie series, is in a bar, completely smashed out of his mind.  In walks Tommy Wiseau (Director/Writer/Actor, The Room).  Tommy is also slobbering drunk, but he recognizes Adam and slumps into the stool next to him.  Adam notices him and said, “Hey Tommy!” to which Wiseau replied (in his normal manner) “You’re tearing me apart Adam!”.

After a few more drinks, they get to talking. “Listen Tom,” said Adam, “I figure, with a director as infamous as yourself, and a writer as predictable as me, we should get together on a project.  A fun, sex-filled romp with plenty of bad one-liners!”

“Sure!” Tommy cheerfully added, “And we should make the characters bland, the photography nauseating, and the sex scenes uncomfortable for the audience!”  They high-fived, and Chick Magnet was born.

Story/Writing: .5/2

So a magic shirt makes you completely irresistable to any and all women.  Yup, you can probably see how this one is going to end up from a mile away.

Acting: .5/2

The central protagonist, Phil (no last name, really deep characterization there), is the only one to express normal human emotions of the entire cast.  The actor who plays him, Jeff Venables, also bears a fairly striking resemblance to a clean-shaven Timothy Olyphant.

Photography/Set: .5/2

A lot of on-location shots are this rating’s only friend.

Sound/FX: 1/2

The soundtrack is fairly listenable, but the rest of this category is pretty much utter garbage.

Misc: 0/2

VERDICT: 2.5/10

Pass on this.

About svolkmer

Photographer. Filmmaker. Nice guy.
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